They Come And Go As They Please

18 March 2011

I have had many dreams with wolves throughout my lifetime.  They come and they go.  I am finding myself once again dreaming with wolves.  I say dreaming with them because the dreams seem like awakened moments of speculation.


Why do the dreams come and why do they go away?  I have been wondering that the last several days.  They have started again.  What brought them on again?  What is it in my life or in my subconscious that triggers them to manifest from time to time?

This is a self-exploration, a research of sorts to try to find meaning in the meaningless.  I enjoy this type of exploration greatly.  It brings me much joy and much thought.

I had written some dreams with the wolves last year.  I am eager to review the dreams from last year and compare to the new ones.  I feel an intense urge to find similarities and any differences if any. I do have moments of intense speculation that end up in nothing.  Somehow I find much joy and peace in those moments.

I tend to lately want to be surrounded in solitude.  In the yearning for solitude I never feel alone.  I search and long for inner quietness that sometimes overwhelms me with need and longing for it.  This feeling is slowly creeping back into my heart, soul, and spirit.  It sometimes frightens me the intense need to find quietness and just be surrounded in complete solitude.  I have responsibilities and must learn to balance responsibilities with inner needs that my soul calls for.

I have definitely linked my need for inner quietness and my dreams with wolves.  They become sometimes my only companions that I run with at times.  Since I was a little girl, these companions have held me, carried me, guided me, played with me, cried with me, laughed with me, been angry with me, been angry without me, and the most beautiful o all, never betrayed me.

Never have they betrayed my dreams, my thoughts, my words, or my feelings.  I found myself last year almost entrapped in the dreams, held spellbound and was only able to break away from them by writing about them.  They can mesmerize me and almost intoxicate my sense with the vividness of the illusions of my dreams with wolves.  I find myself again turning the same dream over in my mind, hopefully I will be able to move from one dream to another by writing them out again.

I am aware sometimes in our dreams we live out fears, hopes, and dreams.  Sometimes our dreams mean nothing.  It is the finding and becoming aware of the something out of the nothing that intrigues me.  I am well aware that I can get lost in the search of finding the nothing out of something, or should I say the finding the something out of nothing?

This is a journey that I do not know how long it will last.  It might last a few days, a few weeks, a few months, maybe a year, maybe many years.  They come and go as they please.