When Exactly Did My Dreams With The Wolves Start?

19 March 2011

I am grateful when they come and I am grateful when they go.  These dreams filled with journeys and adventures are treasures to me that I hold dearly in my heart.  They are meaningless yet they hold much thought and much enlightenment.

I love the balance of both.  They constantly show me balance.  How exactly is the balance accomplished in bridging the two-worlds; the world of meaningless nothing and the world of much thought and enlightenment?  Is the balance of both a gift?  In my world it just is.  I have recently become aware my dreaming with wolves is sometimes triggered when there is an imbalance in my life.

No matter how the dreaming starts and what is going on in my life, one of the main keys always ends up being some type of imbalance.  Once the balance is attained again the dreams continue for a bit and it is like a passage each time.  Once we are in a balance state, myself, my dreams, my wolves, we are allowed a few moments of peace and joy together before they go.

I am not writing to teach someone how to dream with wolves.  I am not sure how I started, how it has progressed to journeys, how to bring them on, it just is.  I am now finally almost reaching 40 and realizing, they come and guide me during times of much distress.  Not physical, financial, sometimes emotional, but most importantly spiritual distress.  Is emotional and spiritual distress the same?  Can one exist without the other?

As a Christian, I remember a time when I wondered if it is okay to dream about wolves.  Is it okay for wolves to guide me?  I realize last year that my wolves are Christian in their hearts, spirits, and souls.  We have had many journeys discussing Christ, Christian values, and meanings of many Bible Scriptures.

I love the timing of the dreams.  I got a book in the mail today and started reading it and the messages in the book relate to my dreams with the wolves last night, leaving much to think about.  The book stirred many emotions, from confusion, distaste, joy, compassion, and inner thought.  I love inner thought.  If I ever had a demon, inner thought would be it.  The need to have solitude around me is great at times and when I ignore it I find myself many times lost in inner thoughts as the world around me continues.  It is not surprising that these inner thoughts end up as themes in my dreams with wolves.

It never occurred to me until last year that not everybody has dreams like these.  I am still trying to understand a life without dreaming like this.  For many years, I prayed, asking for friends, family, acquaintances to enjoy their dream journeys and find much meaning and find much nothingness at the same time.  It was early 2010 when I was left shell shocked by the idea of individuals not having these nightly companions to help guide, to help endure, to help enjoy life, to laugh with, and to cry with.

I had a lot of things going on, a lot of decisions to make, and it blew my mind to a great sense of despair when I realized, not everyone has dreams like this.  I was angry at myself for being so naive as to think everyone did.  I confess out of everything  that was going on in my life, this was the greatest blow to my heart, spirit, and soul.  I cried for all, I felt such sorrow for all, such sadness for all, it engulfed me.

These dreams are such a part of me, a part of my inner me, spiritually so profound in my heart and such an intrigal part of my search and discovery of who I am that for a moment I thought how could one be and not have dreams like this? I was devastated.  The feelings of devastation were not for me, but for those souls that do not have dream companions.  I cried for them, I cried for you, I cried for me, I cried for all of us.  How could that be possible?  My heart did not understand.  My heart still does not understand.  One thing that I have learned is it is okay to not understand at times.

Moon taught me that.  It is okay not to understand things at times.  When the time is right the meaning will come.  She also taught me the concept that "the time is right" means not when I am ready but when everyone around me is also ready.  Or not only when they are ready but when I am also ready. We are all intertwined in dreams.

I love all my wolves, but I met Moon first.  She has journeyed with me since I was small.  How small I am not sure, but that is one of the goals I hope to recall.  When exactly did my dreams with the wolves start?